aim for the head.

She was a furious fuck, and that was fine.
I mean, I don't mind getting rough;
hair pulling and hand cuffs.
But it was her post-game play that petrified me most.
I can deal with spooning
and I can pretend to be interested in getting sushi tomorrow,
It's an integral part of the tango.
But she was thinking of names for our children.
That fucking scared me.

"I think they should both start with 'J',
Joe for the boy and Julie for the girl"

I layed there with my arm hooked below my head,
her head resting on my chest.
I was still half drunk.
And more than willing for round two.

"I don't want twins"
she said.
"I want Julie to be a few years older,
she can be the wise older sister."

She lifted her head from my chest
and looked towards my stubbled chin.

All I could think about was the fact
that i couldn't remember her name,
it migh've been Emma, or possibly
Natalie.

I've thought about kids before.
But i honestly want to have nothing to do with them
I'd like to spread my seed,
but across distant continents.

I'd like to have a Jose
with my eyes and nose
that lives with his mother.
She rocks him gently as
they bathe in pastel colours
of the sun set in El Salvador.

And I'd like a Juanita
with my passion for words
who sits with her mum
as they watch the matadors
dance that suicidal dance of theirs.

But that's far off,
and right now i just want to drink,
smoke
and make love to the girls
who laugh nervously at the bars.

I don't want a Joe.
I don't want a Julie.
I want her to tell me if she's really on the pill
or if I have to pull out and aim for her tits.

breeding should be means tested.

Okay, so you're 18, possibly younger, and you've just had a child. Now normally this would call for congratulations... BUT YOU'RE 18, POSSIBLY YOUNGER.. can you not read?

Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt your love for the kid every time you see or hold it. But i doubt, very strongly, that you grasp the gravity of the situation. Now, for some moral, financial or emotional reason you didn't have an abortion. Good on you for sticking to your personal ethics; or price range. But at least you're going to use condoms now right?

No. You want more kids, and your fucking 2o years old. What the fuck? Were you semi-aborted when you were kid? Do you think children are pokemon?

Maybe you should concentrate on producing an environment, both financially and emotionally, that is conducive to raising a baby. Not just popping them off every nine months cause they're cute. Jesus Christ! I'd like to apologize in advance to the next generation.

However, if you could battle them like pokemon, I'd definitely get me a badass Blastoise.